Over the past few years, a particular corner of the internet has quietly grown in influence. With Louis Theroux’s new documentary exploring these spaces, more people are beginning to ask: what exactly is the manosphere, and why is it attracting so many young men?
The answers aren’t simple. Because, while some of these communities present themselves as spaces for male self-improvement or support, many also promote deeply adversarial & problematic ideas about relationships between men and women.
Conversations about the manosphere often become heated very quickly. But if we want to understand its impact, and why it resonates with so many people, it helps to start with a more basic question.
What is the Manosphere?
You’d be forgiven for being confused by the term. At its core it’s a loose network of online communities, influencers, podcasts, forums, gaming spaces & social media platforms. They all have one thing in common – they focus on ideas about masculinity, dating, gender roles & relationships.
And we’re not talking about the “deep web” , they’re platforms you’ll know well. Hell, you might have even used them before reading this; youtube, tiktok, reddit, some of the most popular podcasters worldwide like Joe Rogan. A testament to how insidious and permissive our regular discourse around this has become.
What links these spaces together is a shared belief that modern society has become unfair to men, and that men need to reclaim a more dominant or traditional role in relationships and society.
What does it sound like?
Because it’s a loose collection of spaces with different cultures and ways of communicating, how it sounds can be varied, but some commonly used phrases are:
- “Take the red pill”
- “Become a high value man”
- “Women only want status”
- “Don’t be a simp”
- “Modern women are hypergamous”
- “Men need to lead”
The language can feel quite coded if you’re unfamiliar with it. But the basic message tends to revolve around a few core ideas:
- Men and women are in competition with each other
- Relationships are primarily about power and status
- Men must dominate in order to succeed
- Vulnerability is weakness
- Feminism has harmed men and society
These ideas are often presented as hidden truths that mainstream culture doesn’t want men to hear. That’s where terms like “red pill” come from; a reference to The Matrix, where taking the red pill reveals the “truth” about reality. In manosphere spaces, “taking the red pill” usually means waking up to what they believe are the real dynamics between men and women.
Each community will have its own idea of how to get to the hidden truth, but some of the most common thematically are:
“Alpha male” influencer culture
This is probably the part most people encounter first. Influencers present themselves as hyper-successful men offering advice on how to become confident, wealthy, dominant and attractive. Content often mixes self-improvement with more rigid ideas about gender roles.
For example:“Men should lead. Women should follow.”
“If she doesn’t respect you, replace her.”
Pick-up culture
These communities focus on teaching men techniques or “strategies” for attracting women – things like “negging”. In more extreme versions, relationships are framed almost like a game with tactics and rules. For example:
“It’s a numbers game.”
“You need to increase your sexual market value.”
Women are sometimes spoken about in ways that reduce them to categories or targets rather than real people.
Incel communities
“Incel” stands for “involuntary celibate”. These communities are made up of people who feel unable to find romantic or sexual relationships. Some spaces centre around loneliness and frustration, but others have become highly misogynistic and fatalistic.In the most extreme versions, you may hear ideas like: 80/20: “Women only want the top 20% of men.” Or references to rigid hierarchies of attractiveness: chads, staceys & Beckys.
Chads
The “ideal” man: handsome, rich, confident. Incels believe women always choose Chads.
- Tall, muscular, and conventionally attractive
- Wealthy or high-status
- Naturally confident and socially dominant
- Has an effortless ability to attract women
What is the reality?
Not all attractive men are manipulative or hyper-masculine. Confidence and attraction are shaped by many factors, not just genetics.The idea that only “top-tier” men find love is false and fuels resentment toward men who don’t fit this mold.
Stacey
The “perfect” woman: attractive, popular, and supposedly only interested in Chads.
- Blonde, conventionally beautiful, and hyperfeminine
- Popular and sought after
- Only attracted to Chads
- Materialistic and “uses men for attention”
What is the reality?
Women aren’t monolithic – they are individuals with different preferences, personalities, and values. Sexuality is complex, and attraction isn’t determined by looks alone. This stereotype fuels misogyny by portraying women as shallow manipulators.
Becky
The “average” woman: Incels believe she still has more dating options than them but isn’t as desirable as Stacy.
- “Plain” or “basic” in appearance
- More likely to date “lower-status” men but still overlooks incels
- A feminist or “socially aware” woman who “rejects traditional gender roles”
- “Settles” for an average guy, but incels believe she still has the power in relationships
What is the reality?
The Becky stereotype shows how incels see all women as obstacles rather than individuals. Even women who are not seen as “ideal” are still resented for their perceived power in dating. Women, like men, face insecurities and dating struggles—but incels reject this reality.
How the manosphere harms us all?
The False Promise to Men
At first glance, some of this content can sound like empowerment. And that’s part of why these ideas spread so easily. Because underneath the bold claims and strong opinions, the manosphere taps into something very real: a growing sense of confusion and loneliness that many men are experiencing today.
But the solutions it offers come with a cost.
While these spaces promise power, clarity and success in relationships, the worldview they promote often ends up narrowing men’s emotional lives, deepening mistrust between genders, and turning connection into competition.
In other words, the manosphere presents itself as a solution to men’s struggles. But in many ways, its natural outcome is to make those struggles worse.
Many men are navigating a world where traditional ideas about masculinity are shifting, but clear alternatives don’t feel easily accessible. Expectations about relationships, work, identity and emotional expression can feel unclear or contradictory and in competition with more outdated stances.
The manosphere offers something that can feel reassuring in that uncertainty.
Clear rules.
Clear hierarchies.
Clear explanations for why things feel difficult.
The Harm to Men
One of the most overlooked aspects of the manosphere is that the worldview it promotes can also be damaging to the men who adopt it. Hypermasculine ideology teaches men:
- vulnerability is weakness & expressing emotional needs will lead to rejection. It holds that vulnerability itself is inherently dangerous.
- relationships are transactions & trusting others is therefore naive.
- intimacy is power & should be controlled rather than experienced.
- worth = status & dominance
But human relationships don’t work very well under those conditions.
Most people want a connection that feels genuine, mutual and emotionally safe. Indeed, relationships built on trust, curiosity and care are far more sustainable. Hypermasculine conforming men, instead end up cutting themselves off from the very things that make relationships meaningful.
The fatalism of “redpill” or “blackpill” thinking fuels a fatalism and nihilism that can be a directly contributing factor to the male suicide epidemic.
The Harm to Women
One of the most immediate harms of the manosphere is the way it shapes how women are spoken about and understood.
Across many of these communities, women are frequently described in ways that reduce them to categories rather than individuals. The language used frames relationships as a kind of marketplace where people are ranked and traded according to status. When these ideas spread, they change the tone of everyday interactions.
Women and girls increasingly report encountering language online that frames them as manipulative, inferior, or primarily valuable for their appearance or sexual availability. In schools, it’s increasingly being reported that boys are heard repeating phrases from online influencers about women “belonging in the kitchen” or being inherently less rational than men.
The result isn’t just offensive language. It can translate into real behaviours:
- harassment online
- pressure within relationships
- normalising controlling or possessive behaviour
- hostility toward women who challenge traditional roles
For women navigating dating, friendships, workplaces, and online spaces, this can create a constant background sense of being evaluated or mistrusted – “a hundred tiny cuts”.
At its most extreme end, the possessiveness and dehumanisation fuels gender based violence towards women. It becomes a life or death matter.
The Harm to Society
These hypermasculine ideas spill into our political discourse, our political policies and lives. Suddenly, young minds who are just coming to know the world are indoctrinated in beliefs that are given as received wisdom; before they have the autonomy, resources, skill or support structures to be able to effectively challenge them. The very act of children forming identity is at risk from beliefs that are dangerous to them.
Over time, this erodes something fundamental: the sense that we are part of a shared social world where cooperation and care are possible.
The manosphere thrives on division. But relationships; romantic, familial, communal; depend on connection. And when distrust becomes the starting point, everyone loses something.
