Hey, you.
Are we running full throttle to the invisible finish line? What even is that we kid ourselves with! Nothing really ends – we just carry on with other jobs, things on our minds, problems to solve, maybe just a little fuller on moments, fluffy socks, and beige food!
But really, how are you doing?
As we near the end of another whirlwind year, I find myself reflecting on the intricate web of family and relationships that enrich and impact our lives. This season invites us to pause, breathe, and truly appreciate the connections that ground us – and those that don’t. Those that replenish, and those that deplete. This is so critical, especially in a world that often feels chaotic and, at best, overwhelming!
My attention is mostly on myself: the quality of my relationships, my contribution, my presence, and where I feel more attention might be needed – or maybe less, depending. How have I been showing up, and what has been the result of that?ithin yourself.
Relationships That Nurture Us
Family isn’t solely about blood; it’s about the people who show up, support us, and love us through thick and thin, while also understanding that this will, in most parts, be imperfect. This year has taught me just how essential these connections are to my well-being. Whether it’s laughter shared over a cosy dinner, comforting presence during challenging times, or quiet moments of connection, family nurtures our hearts and souls in profound ways.
People will not, for the most part, know exactly how to love and support you – they aren’t mind readers. So when you feel often disappointed, take a minute to reflect:
How are you teaching them about you?
How honestly are you showing up, what are you sharing, and what are you not?
Are you open to the intimacy you say you want?
Or is it just expectation and a cycle of frustration and loneliness?
We only have power over ourselves, however much we project onto others.
Nurturing Our Relationships
At Self Space, we understand the transformative power of relationships – it’s what we do every day in the therapy room. Therapy is always about the relationship! Relationships can bring joy, connection, and a sense of belonging. But they can also bring us into contact with past versions of ourselves; they can hold a mirror up to the parts of ourselves we aren’t compassionate to or don’t like. We often find ourselves in relationships that keep us stuck in past versions of ourselves – even when we don’t like it, the familiar is comfortable!
This year, I’ve made it a priority to nurture my key relationships, reaching out to friends just to say, I’m here, and I love you. Even if I can’t offer much time, I am clear on what I have available and try to stay consistent with plans. If I say yes, I mean yes, so no one is left wondering. I find I’m much better in person than on the phone, so I make plans in advance to ensure I have these moments to replenish – and so people feel included. These moments of connection are where we find fuel for the dry or tough spells. If it isn’t filling you up – ask why. How can I contribute?
Lessons from Our Connections
Every relationship teaches us something valuable. Some bring joy, while others challenge us and encourage growth. Looking back, I’m grateful for the lessons learned through both joyful and difficult moments. Each experience shapes who we are, reminding us of the incredible resilience we carry within.
Tips for Managing Family Relationships and Prioritising Self-Care
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Create space for yourself by establishing clear boundaries. Communicate your needs with loved ones so everyone knows what feels right for you.
- Prioritise Quality Time: Enjoy meaningful moments together. Whether it’s a cosy movie night, cooking together, or sharing stories, these interactions deepen connections.
- Practice Active Listening: Engage in conversations with an open heart and mind. Listening to understand, rather than just to respond, fosters deeper bonds and shows your loved ones they matter.
- Schedule “Me Time”: Amid family commitments, don’t forget to nurture yourself. Dive into a book, meditate, or maintain a routine that fuels you.
- Stay Connected, Even from Afar: Use technology to keep in touch with loved ones, especially those far away. Regular video calls or voice notes can bridge the distance.
- Seek Support When Needed: If family dynamics feel overwhelming, reaching out for professional support can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy provides valuable insights and coping strategies to navigate challenges. You can face yourself in therapy in all your glory! This is key to deepening and creating the types of relationships you need and want.
Looking Ahead
As we step into the new year, let’s carry forward the love, lessons, and connections that have enriched our lives. Take a moment to express gratitude to those you cherish. A simple message, heartfelt call, or planning a gathering can go a long way in celebrating the bonds that uplift us. If you think it – say it.
If you’re looking for support as you navigate family dynamics or personal challenges, remember that Self Space is here for you. We offer a range of services, including 1:1 therapy sessions, workshops, and community support – all designed to help you thrive in your relationships and within yourself.