We all know, or should know, the terrifying NHS waitlist stats (18 – 46 weeks). While I believe they are doing the best they can with the system and budgets they have, when we finally reach the point of seeking help through a doctor – often as a last resort for many of us – being told you need to wait is not what any of us need.
Picture this (or maybe we can pull from memory, or feel it now) it’s miserable and grey, the world whizzing by. We wake up feeling lost, a bit hopeless. Social media shows lives happening that feel out of reach. The inbox is under or overwhelming. The fridge needs a clean. We don’t feel ourselves, haven’t for weeks, maybe months. We don’t want to offload onto family – they’ve got enough going on. We feel like we’ve bored our mates to death. Nothing seems to change. It feels like rock bottom.
So we book a GP appointment. Which feels embarrassing, because we only ever go when we’re “sick” – and this doesn’t feel like sickness. It feels like life is just too much. We wait however many days for the appointment, feeling small and horrid going in, hoping for support. We try to explain, but it doesn’t sit neatly in words. We just feel low, grey, not okay. To then be told: not no, but not now. The list is long. Call this number. Fill in this form. Wait.
To be denied access at this point can be at best crushing. To hear “yes, but not yet” – three, six, twelve months – when we’re already feeling low, can feel insurmountable. It takes an enormous amount of courage to seek support and help, to show our vulnerability and say we need someone or something to lean on. To be told sorry, not now, can leave us defeated. Then what? We already feel low in confidence, low resourced, overwhelmed, confused, lost, hopeless, far from the best version of ourselves. We now need to find the internal capacity to support ourselves. By this point, most of us have already emptied the barrels we have internally and in our networks. We go home feeling hopeless, and either wait in that state, or try to seek out and pay for independent support. Here begins an often long, confusing journey to find a good quality, accessible clinician.
I have been preaching about mental maintenance for a long time. I’m proud of the easy, same day access we have created for clients to find good quality therapists, through our therapist matching, free intro sessions and our range of brilliant therapists that you can choose from. You won’t be penalised for trying a few until the fit feels right. However, I think alongside therapy, we need to be much more proactive about our own access and opportunities for mental maintenance. Building tools and rituals into our daily lives helps us build stamina for the inevitable choppy waters ahead. And if you just can’t afford therapy right now – we also offer low cost therapy options.
This year’s world mental health day theme is Access and so rather than banging the drum about how vital access for all is, I wanted to give you some access tools to use at home that I think can support you on a mental maintenance journey. These things are in your power, you don’t have to knock on a door and wait for someone else to answer.
Access to ourselves
Deeply. The more space, capacity, opportunities and quiet you create to access yourself fully and with integrity: listening to your deepest self – the more you can act in alignment, even when it displeases others. This will support you to feel connected and authentic and will better your mental health over time. This also creates the opportunity for you to connect more deeply with others.
Access to others
Honestly. Deep, meaningful, intimate and authentic relationships where you can be fully yourself, seen, heard and validated. Especially at your lowest. Access to these types of relationships will help you find balance and openness and support us to feel anchored even in choppy waters.
Access to community
Abundantly. The community is co created. We build community with the way we are in the world, how we show up, not always the most vibrant, but with honesty. Community is everywhere if we are open to look for it and show up. Community can help you to feel safe and connected when you need it most, it can give you a place to care and share with others, and helps you to feel part of something bigger than yourself. Be authentic in the types of places you look for a community, try to be open to others and allow yourself the opportunity to be present for that community.
Access to mental health support
Confidently (or trembling – it all works). How to know we are all messy, failable, incomplete. Knowing that means we can seek out, engage with and embrace support in all ways, without shame and with confidence. Being human is hard, relationships are hard, living is hard, allow yourself the grace and compassion to know you don’t need to do it alone,
Access to movement
Freely. Moving your body is free, it helps you feel that you can put one foot in front of the other, it’s good for you, it helps move you from mental space to another, the seat helps your body regulate, it helps ground you back to yourself and your body. You don’t always have to enjoy it but do it anyway!
Access to nature
Hopefully. Look for the sun on your face, the green under your feet, the air in your nose where you can find it. When your heads all over go for a little walk, see the enormity and growth of what is happening around you. It’s not an instant fix but it will not make you feel worse.
Access to feelings
Fully and confidently. Feelings are complicated, often a bit ugly, they don’t come with an instruction manual. But we all have them, they are the thing that both unite and guide us. We need to feel safe enough to really feel our feelings and confident enough that we can hold ourselves enough to allow them in. Feelings persist and amplify when we don’t allow them to be fully felt. This is something you always have access to, it’s within your power. Allow your feelings the chance to be fully felt.
Access sometimes isn’t something we feel we have control over, it can be disheartening and disempowering when we need the opposite. But by committing to mental maintenance, by giving ourselves the best chance possible, we grant ourselves access to what we need when we need it – even when the wider system is failing.
Access in the workplace
Access doesn’t just belong at home or in our personal lives – it belongs in our workplaces too. Too often, “support” at work looks like an unused helpline or a poster on the wall. Real access means employers investing in proper, human-first therapy – available quickly, confidentially, and without financial barriers.
At Self Space, we partner with some brilliant businesses to make this possible. Same-day sessions. Everyday mental maintenance. Training for leaders to actually support their people. Because better access at work doesn’t just help individuals – it builds healthier workplaces, stronger leaders, and cultures where we can all thrive.