Started therapy? That’s mint. Seriously, we’re buzzing for you. But after a few sessions, it’s very normal to start wondering, “Is this actually doing anything for me?”. Therapy doesn’t always move in a straight line—sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back, and a bit of an awkward shuffle to the side. That’s OK, we’ve all been there. So, let’s take a look at how to know if therapy (whether in-person or online) is getting you where you want to go.
1. Reflect on Your Progress (Even the Little Bits)
Think back to the start—where were you when you first began? Progress doesn’t always look like a smoothly edited Rocky training montage. Sometimes it’s just noticing you didn’t lose your sh*t on the morning commute when you might have done before. Little wins are still wins. Maybe you’re more aware of your thoughts and feelings now, or maybe you’re able to spot life’s curveballs coming a smidge earlier than before. Progress doesn’t always look like fireworks—it’s often more like a slow burn beneath the surface.
Here are some questions worth asking:
- What’s been the most helpful bit of therapy so far?
- Are there any areas you’ve been side-stepping in sessions? (Yeah, we all do that)
- What’s next on the list to tackle?
- How do you feel about your progress? What does ‘moving forward’ look like for you?
2. Revisit Your Goals
When we first rocked up to therapy, we likely had a few goals in mind—whether that was sorting our anxiety, working on a relationship, or simply trying to figure out what’s going on in our heads. It’s worth revisiting those goals. Are they still the same, or have they shifted a bit? Goals can be like an IKEA flatpack—often we start with an ideal objective in mind and end up with something that looks a bit different (and that’s OK). The key is feeling like things are moving in a meaningful direction.
3. Notice Shifts in Thinking
Therapy isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about thinking differently. Have you caught yourself noticing those dodgy thought patterns quicker than before? Are you challenging beliefs that once felt solid as a brick wall? Even if life still feels like a bit of a circus, noticing those little shifts in how we think means therapy’s already starting to work its magic.
4. Pay Attention to Your Emotions
Therapy can stir up some heavy stuff and dredge up old emotions we may not have felt brave enough to face for a while. It’s common to wonder in the early phases of therapy, “Hold up, am I actually getting worse?” But those intense feelings are often part of the process. The important thing is to look at the overall emotional landscape. Are there more moments of calm or clarity creeping in? Are you starting to handle your feelings with a bit more ease? If so, take some comfort that you’re on the right track.
5. Check the Relationship With Your Therapist
The relationship with your therapist is super critical. Do you feel understood, supported, and safe during your sessions? Can you open up and say what’s really on your mind without holding back or censoring yourself? A sound connection with your therapist makes all the difference. If things feel a bit off, even if you’re not sure why, have a chat about it to get things back on track. Therapy is a partnership, not a one-way street.
6. Notice Changes in Behaviour
Changes in behaviour are where therapy gets real. Are you setting boundaries that you wouldn’t have dared to before? Maybe you’ve found healthier ways to cope with stressful situations. These little shifts are proof that what you’re exploring in therapy is making its way into everyday life—and that’s when you know it’s working.
7. Trust the Process
Therapy’s not a quick-fix, and sometimes it feels like nothing much is happening at all. This is completely normal. There’s no fast-forward button. It’s a bit like learning to bake—you won’t be whipping up Michelin-starred cheesecakes after one session, but with patience, you’ll get there. The key is to trust the process. It sounds as cheesy as cheesecake but big changes often come after a few false starts.
8. Talk to Your Therapist About It
Still feeling a bit unsure? That’s what your therapist is there for—have a chat about how things are going. They’re there to help steer the ship, especially when the waters feel a bit choppy. Maybe it’s time to reassess goals or try a new therapeutic approach? Being open about how you feel can help make those little tweaks that keep you moving forward.
9. Understand that Setbacks Are Part of the Journey
Weirdly, setbacks don’t mean you’re going backwards. They’re actually part of moving forward. It’s like giving your house a spring clean, it usually gets messier before it gets better. Revisiting tough emotions or old wounds can feel rough, but these moments are often where the real breakthroughs happen.
10. Celebrate the Wins, No Matter How Small
Last but not least—celebrate the little victories. Therapy’s hard graft, and recognising the small steps forward matters. Maybe you managed to broach that difficult conversation you’d been avoiding, or managed to take a moment to pause when you were feeling overwhelmed. Whatever it is, those little wins are proof that you’re on the right track.
Final Thoughts
Therapy’s a journey, and it’s totally normal to wonder if it’s working, especially when progress feels slower than you were hoping. By reflecting on the journey, revisiting goals, and keeping the lines of communication open with your therapist, it’s easier to see the changes happening, even if they’re small. Whether it’s online therapy or face-to-face, Self Space is here for the ups, downs, and everything in between. And remember, every little step counts.