When we’re in times of peak stress our brains aren’t at their most practical. Whether you’re the type that truly does ‘thrive’ under pressure (you’re not really thriving though are you?) or you’re more a crumple under pressure type, we asked our therapists for the questions that they might ask themselves or want their clients to reflect on when they ask ‘Am I Stressed?’.
Have a read through the below, print it and stick it on your fridge.
- Have I written a list?
- Have I drunk enough water today?
- Have I eaten enough food?
- Have I got enough sunlight? (You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions).
- Have I left my desk and stretched?
- Have I written down what my three biggest needs are right now?
- Have I written down who might be able to help me meet these needs?
- Have I considered what one small step I can take right now to feel better?
- Have I picked up the phone, tapped the keys and replied to that person I need to reply to?
- Have I breathed deeply, in for four out for six?
- Have I assumed the position of child’s pose for at least 5 minutes?
- Have I asked myself: will the thing I am stressed about matter in one day, one week, one month, or one year’s time?
- Have I played September by Earth Wind & Fire at full volume and danced in my kitchen?
- Have I stopped trying stress management and started trying to attend to my stressors themselves?
- Have I said ‘no’ enough lately?
- Have I asked myself: how can I practice saying ‘no’ more often?
- Have I rang a close friend, asked them for permission to vent, and vented? (Consent to dump emotional baggage is essential).
- Have I gone outside and felt the sun, rain or wind on my skin?
- Have I rang a close friend and told them I loved them?
- Have I taken a hot shower or bath?
- Have I asked someone to help me? To hold me?
- Have I looked at my diary and cancelled at least two things?
- Have I put fresh duvet covers on and wrapped myself up like a burrito?
- Have I lit that candle I tend to look at and save for special occasions?
- Have I written how I feel on a piece of paper and burnt it?
- Have I let my inner shitty committee take over and abandoned self-compassion?
- Have I rubbed my hands together really fast for 60 seconds before placing my warm palms over my closed eyes and sighing deeply?
- Have I unclenched my jaw and fists, softened my gaze and let my tongue elongate?
- Have I thought about the best, worst, and most realistic scenario that is likely to play out?
- Have I screamed into a pillow?
- Have I stared at a tree, the ocean, or anything else in nature?
- Have I had a really, really, really good snotty sobby cry?
- Have I asked myself: what am I striving for? What is driving me? Is it from a healthy place or a place of lack?
- Have I located where in my body I am feeling stress? Jaw, fists, the space between my eyes, my stomach?
- Have I identified that this is my stress, or am I absorbing someone else’s?
- Have I been honest about whether or not I am avoiding stillness and a slower pace?
- Have I asked myself: what am I distracting myself from?
- Have I spent too much time scrolling on Instagram?
- Have I had an orgasm?
- Have I said the thing I’m shitting myself about saying?
- Have I made space for Niksen (aka the Dutch concept of being idle and doing nothing).
- Have I stroked my dog?
- Have I intentionally gone to the park to find a stranger’s dog to stroke because I haven’t got a dog?
- Have I looked back and taken stock of all the times I thought I wouldn’t get through something, but did?
- Have I reflected on how have I successfully dealt with situations like this in the past?
- Have I wondered who that voice belongs to? (The one that is constantly telling me to do more).
- Have I thought about what is within my control, and what is outside of my control?
- Have I written an Ingratitude List? (A bit like a Gratitude List, but with things that you aren’t grateful for).
- Have I asked: what am I feeling? Is it stress or is it something else? Fear? Tiredness? Resentment?
- Have I played Baz Luhrmann – Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen and read the lyrics as I listened?
- Have I asked myself: how is this stress affecting me?
- Have I stepped outside of my own stress and done something kind for someone else?
- Have I looked in the mirror and told myself: “I am enough”?
- Have I cleaned my gaff?
- Have I spent less time being my work and more time being me?
- Have I admitted to myself and to others around me that I need help?
- Have I been for a stupid walk for my stupid mental health?
- Have I booked that nice thing for myself?
- Have I re-read the last message on my phone that made me smile?
- Have I stood in front of the mirror with the biggest of forced smiles for long enough for it to bring a giggle?
- Have I allowed myself to voice my needs?
- Have I had a break from booze recently?
- Have I acknowledged that “I am” is a complete sentence?
- Have I been seeing rest as something only to be earned through overwork and exhaustion?
- Have I called bullshit on my too-busy-o-meter and made time for me?
- Have I told people the brutal truth that they need to hear, without apology, but with tenderness and kindness?
- Have I accepted that change is never a linear process and that setbacks and fuck ups are a central part of it?
- Have I asked myself: do I only feel alive when I’m running on adrenaline?
- Have I accepted that I may do all of this and still feel stressed?
- Have I booked a session with Self Space? (Our therapists are quite good!)
